Author: ***

‘When I’m 64’ by the Beatles is re-re-re-released on a revolutionary new carpet format that is played by being walked on.

In Dusseldorf, without really knowing or understanding why, people begin to wear super-hero masks to work.

Phd research papers on dental floss suddenly hit a spike in popularity. A lack of qualified supervisors creates alarm.

The world population of pandas grows at an unexplained and exponential rate until they are common everywhere, except, sadly, in China.

The NHS is swapped for a pack of huskies.

Magnets will be used as pets, toupees will be used as slippers, your best friend will be a tub of margarine.

The cheese wars will have ended.

Another new religion is formed. Believing that sink-holes are holy channels of communication, the Sink-holeians gather and perform ceremonies around any newly collapsed ground. The ever-present potential for members self-sacrifice into the hole guarantees additional spectators.

Children will be taught by wind-up monkeys.

All procedures in hospitals, including birth, euthanasia etc, will be made available for viewing by a paying public, to raise funds for the NHS.